Adulting is hard, and I don’t wanna. I want to curl up in a ball, watch Netflix, and bury my “adultness” in some Bourbon and a bag of crunchy Cheetos. But what’s that going to solve? Nothing whatsoever, but dammit, I’m going to do it anyways.
This is the position I found myself in many an endless night after I’d make my way home from another 13-hour day of repping. But you see, I knew this was no answer to my problems. I needed some real clarity, about 364 consistent days at the gym, and a magic eight-ball telling me what to do. Oh, and the energy of my 4-year-old would be fantastic too.
But unfortunately, these things were not realistic options, and they held zero longevity.
So, what will fix this endless cycle of exhaustion and unfulfilling crap?
How exactly do you start to unravel this chaotic cycle of unhealthiness and addiction to work and come into a better place where it doesn’t feel so heavy?
These are FAQs I asked myself. And maybe you’ve been there too…
The answers look a little different for each of us, but here are 3 things that made the shitstorm and lack of clarity a bit better.
ONE: Rest and grace
While bourbon and Cheetos are two of my favorite things ever…they won’t solve exhaustion or muster up any answers.
I slowly started to realize they had made things worse. I had to, first and foremost, offer myself a measure of grace in all things.
The high achiever, workaholic me said go until you can’t and then go some more; it’ll totally be okay. But the truth is, things were far from okay at that phase in my life and career. I needed to:
• Lower the bar a little
• Realize how far I’d come
• Recognize the things I’d done really, really well
And after doing all that, I needed to rest. The only way that happened for me was systematic and automatic. Here’s what helped:
• Create a routine that provides a healthy(ish) escape
• Jot down the things that worked really well that day and what didn’t
• Pick up a book that was a getaway. The parameters are fiction, fun, and make \ you laugh.
You’ve come so far in your efforts, don’t diminish that, but do think about it.
TWO: Brainstorm & be
Think sporadically, have a curiosity, and don’t stop dreaming. I think when we stop dreaming and let the reality police creep in, we lose that sense of wonder and freedom we had once before we became jaded, uniformed, and corporatized.
Find a moment each day to reconnect with you. Write down all the ideas and magic in your mind and put pen to paper. This will start to trigger your bigger dreams.
For me, the creativity that hits me needs a spark to ignite. So before you check social media, open your mile-long email list, and take your creativity away-harness it just for a moment.
I use an app called GrowthDay and listen to a short “morning fire” daily to act as my spark (link below in resources).
THREE: Dip your toes in
It all starts with dipping your toes in the water. Some of you might be cannon ballers, the jump in the deep-enders, but I’m a baby-stepper. Acclimate to the cold water one little step at a time until I dunk up to my shoulders.
When I started going back to the gym, I drove to the parking lot. Sat in it for a few minutes and left. No sweat, no real effort, zero calories burned. But I started showing up, and that was my toe dip.
Is it time for you to start dipping your toes in? Is it time to offer yourself even the tiniest bit of grace? I believe it’s your time, and it’s now or never.
I’ll leave you with this…
“Sometimes the paths we’re on, they wind around in ways that we never would have expected. All you can do is keep moving forward, even on days when honestly, it all just kind of feels like s***.”
Thank you for being a part of this crazy, candid, unraveling newsletter.